Romance in Islam
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Romance in IslamHow often do you hear people talk about Romance with an Islamic context? Talking of romance, of love generally speaking – in front of many Muslims would raise eyebrows as the image of ‘Romance’ and ‘Love’ that we have today is what is presented by the Holly/Bolly Wood or the loads of novels that come with stories making people fanaticize love using the perspective of the authors. These people start imagining and making this love the ideal for their own lives. I have seen loads of people who sing songs with perfect lyrics not knowing the language at all. There are so many who would intelligently discuss how life is so well portrayed in these. The response to love and all associated ways of expressing it come in the form of people burning Valentine Cards, shunning any form of talk of romance and love.

The problem is that love and affection and even romance for that matter is a natural human need that finds no ideology to follow in our cultures and finds beautiful looking image of life in what is presented in these un-Islamic sources of entertainment.So does this mean that the rich Islamic life system that covers just about every aspect of life, forgets about this very important need? Is romance to be abhorred just because we have learnt over time to understand it from the western or hindi-movie perspective?

I found a very interesting blog post by a Muslim about how the idea of a romantic evening would differ from an Islamic and the de-facto perspective.

I knew there has to be some guideline, something that would make romance fit within the Islamic perspective going back to the time of the Prophet. And wow! There is so much, and so beautiful in the life of the Prophet (s.a.w.) himself that tells us what romance is. Maybe the typical mullah forgot to talk about this aspect and we just clung on to a strict, no-smile image of Muslim that is so anti-Islam. But of course the learned men and women could tell you a lot more on how a beautiful relationship is to bemaintained than a ’google-searcher’ like me could put forth.

Anyhow, I did my research and I have my conclusions drawn from the beautiful life of the Prophet (s.a.w), and his companions.Bringing flowers for your loved one, looking beautiful for your mate, having a candle-light dinner with your mate — things that bring romance and speak of love are not only possible but something that would be recommended. The only difference – and an important difference indeed – is that the relationship has a pure foundation — that the man and woman, who have this bond of love, are legally bound together in the bond of marriage. [And of course, marriage is not to be that drag that men and women seem stuck in, and forward jokes about. In Islam, a marriage is the foundation for love and affection between a man and woman that is unlike any other human relationship.]

So, now that you want to talk of romance, a good idea would be to get married. For what is romance without a mate?

With marriage settled and accepted as the default, let’s talk of Romance.

“They are your garments and you are their garments” (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).

How beautiful, and how romantic. J This statement from the Quran itself puts in one sentence the meaning of marriage and what it is supposed to be. The husband and wife are supposed to be to each other like garments – closest to you, protecting you, beautifying you, hiding your shame, and comforting you. SubhanAllah! What could be a better analogy to describe marriage?

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15 Comments

  1. Posted May 13, 2008 at 4:49 am | Permalink

    Strange!
    no comments??

  2. Abu Sadat Nurullah
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 6:06 am | Permalink

    You mentioned:
    ”Bringing flowers for your loved one, looking beautiful for your mate, having a candle-light dinner with your mate.”

    How does that happen without dating/knowing closely someone before marriage? It’s natural that after marriage the husband and wife can/should have romantic relationship. Does that mean you should not know the (future) spouse well before marriage?

  3. Bintihaq
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 7:00 am | Permalink

    Asalamualikum,

    SubhanAllah, for such n enlightening masterpiece. i truly believe dat if we follow the path of Islam, nothing will go wrong in any way.
    Allah bless us all, Ameen Suma Ameen on the right path of Islam.

    Regards
    Bintihaq.

  4. Asma
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 12:02 am | Permalink

    Salaams,

    Good work asma.Actually i think that our mullah,s have interpreted the quran in a such a way to actually so as make it immensely hard to follow the right path .I believe it is extremely important for all of us to read Quran in order to understand our religion ,how intricately every dimension of life has been addressed.

    I would take a moment here to especially emphasize on the rights of women in Islam and their rights with respect to marriage the highest form of love and affection between a man and a woman.

    It is very important for women to know their rights in the light of Quran with respect to marriage (love and affection)and not just be driven into a life long relationship with any man just because the society has set up some insane rules and framed them as righteous.,the rules which are not even near to what our holy book has laid for us .They have every right and say in their marriages and cannot be be driven into bond without any affection just because their parents think it is right for them.Respecting your parents is one thing but don,t forget to execute your rights which Almighty Allah has given you becuase he knows everything the best.

    When we go through Quran we get to know how strong and inspiring the women of that era were and how involved they were in shaping the lifes of everyone around them.So be strong and be proud of your existence

    May Allah guide us all and show us the right path.

  5. Gunehgaar Mudasir lone,
    Posted May 30, 2008 at 3:19 pm | Permalink

    Bismi Allahi Rehmani Raheem,

    Asalamualiakum,

    Maula ya Salli Wasalim daayiman Abadanm Alla habeebika Khyrin Khalki Kulliheme!

    Allahumma Innie Zalamtu nafsi zulman kaseera Wala Yagfir Zanuba Illa Anta fagfirli Magfiratan min Indika Innaka Anta gafooru Raheem!

    Dears brothers and sisters,

    I am immensely pleased with the way you have presented the Quranic and Hadithic interpretation of Love, Marriage and Romance.

    Very few people infact know what Love , Marraige and Romance mean.? But I would like to make two points over here.
    1. Some people need bookish knowledge to have these kinds of attributes in their life. I mean they need to go through hadiths and Holy books like Quran to chip in to it. This is what you people have done marvellously.

    2. But there are some people who are naturally blessed with all these true attributes of Holy Quran and hadiths are just circulating in them with out even knowing what they are naturally equipped with.

    Therefore if you want to know how the things of Love, Romance and marriage have been depicted and mentioned in Quran and reflected in various authentic Hadiths of NabiRehmat SAW in a perfect way.
    The best way is to find a true person with true heart or see where one’s heart stands in that perspective if you want to check your ownself .

    To me the person who has true heart and has paak intentions has these elements ( Islamic / hadthic things) well settled in his/her blood in a synergistic fashion. That kind of person is just the emulation of True and Muqadas characteristics of Prophet Muhammad SAW.
    one thing is that it is difficult to recognise such people because they hardly usher their prime traits of truthfulness. Mostly They prefer to remain unnoticed.

    Any way ,

    Great work done by you people.

    Get married with a righteous Human with righteous soul and paak Heart.
    there is the gaurantee where you are gona get the absolute and pure love.

    Rest Fee Amani Allah
    Rutt Karinaw maula
    Bahaar Haienaw
    To all of you who truely understand truthfullness in its real context.

  6. REyaz Ahmad Khan
    Posted June 18, 2008 at 3:19 am | Permalink

    Assalamu Alikum
    Dear Brothers And Sisters !
    It is really good to know that we Muslims are studying the Quran and the Sahih Hadith with understanding and belief.i would like to add that we should stop blaming the Mullahs nad the MolvisAs Quran is an open book for all to read and follow.We put Quran in the best cover ( Gilaf) and place it at the highest Shelf.This practice is to changed.Quran has to be in our Lives ,in our breath and all our acts should reflect the word of Allah.

  7. sumaira nazar
    Posted June 20, 2008 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    Aslam-u-Alykum!
    I really appreciate the work that you people have done.It is like an inspiration to all the people who want to be romantic to their husbands/wives and at the same time it teaches us the the different ways of following the other important aspects of the marriage as well.
    Thankyou somuch for puttting forth such information and helping the youth or the newly married couples in understandung eachother and following the religious values to live a good married life.

  8. arsh
    Posted September 16, 2008 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    Aslamm o Alie kum..

    main kuch boluga to log kahtay hain ye lo ji arsh ne bolna shroo kiya 🙂 trust me i am not nose poker but i cant stop myself when i find my nation is walking blindly on wrong path
    kyaa keru adaat se majboor

    1 nimaz ki adaat dalo
    2 try to avoid lies
    3 respect elders
    4be polite always
    5 keep your tune low
    ajj ke liye itna kafi hain
    trust me if we all do it strictly at least lets gv try
    ab mujay mulla na bulana 🙂 mene kaha na main adat se majboor hoon

    ma salama
    Arsh

  9. Momina
    Posted October 12, 2008 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    Assalamualaykum..
    One word.. Beautiful..

  10. Sahada
    Posted May 26, 2009 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

    Assalamo Alaikom….

    Alhamdulillah….beautiful!

  11. Fari
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 4:49 pm | Permalink

    Beautiful, meaningful and very helpful.

    Thanks 🙂

  12. abdulrahman
    Posted November 11, 2009 at 11:12 am | Permalink

    maashalah

  13. MikeD
    Posted January 25, 2010 at 9:33 pm | Permalink

    Now the big question is, how to get both husband and wife to actually love each other initially after their wedding…..especially since they don’t actually “love” or even remotely “know” each other in the first place. Difficulties…difficulties…..

  14. Misbah Nazir
    Posted May 17, 2011 at 12:11 pm | Permalink

    .. Mashallah … really nice

  15. muniba
    Posted November 23, 2011 at 6:01 pm | Permalink

    mashaallah,beautiful………