Romance in Islam
3.5(70%) 4 votes

No love without trust:

Obviously no relationship can sustain without a level of trust that should be earned. The trust is earned through your actions and truly indeed nobody knows you better than your spouse. We know the story of the Prophet (saw) when he received his first revelation. While he was in confusion and awe about the event that had occurred, it was his wife – the person who knew him best – that comforted him and trusted him. She said, “Never would God allow you to be affected by any evil! Truly you are dutiful to your family, you are concerned with helping others, you give to the needy, you are most hospitable to your guests, and you are known for speaking the truth and supporting others when they speak the truth”.

How beautiful indeed! How many people married to each other earn trust in each other like this?

When Prophet received his first revelation, he was shaken. It was his wife Khadijah who put her trust in him: “Never would God allow you to be affected by any evil! Truly you are dutiful to your family, you are concerned with helping others, you give to the needy, you are most hospitable to your guests, and you are known for speaking the truth and supporting others when they speak the truth”.(Bukhari)

Respect your mate:

Just as trust is important, it is very important to show respect to your spouse. Whatever may the case be, whatever be the severity of an issue, it is important to take it light heartedly and maintain a healthy relationship. Instead of creating a mountain out of a mole-hill, it is essential to tackle the situation in a manner that maintains respect of the marital relationship.

How many husbands would be able to control their anger if their wives intentionally broke the dish to be served right in front of friends? Even the generally patient man would frown and show disapproval at least. However, look at how beautifully our dear Prophet handled the situation. Instead of getting angry, he in a very sweet manner gathered the broken pieces and the good and told his companions, “Your mother felt jealous”. Note the words he used, “Your mother” which lightens the gravity of the matter. SubhanAllah! We all have so much to learn from the Prophet (saw).

And how well do we know how to handle a situation when a co-family member says something hurtful to your spouse? Instead of reacting in a way that would make the whole situation tense, how often are we able to put things in a manner where things can be settled amicably? The Prophet (saw) puts forth for us a beautiful example of how to handle such complex situations – for when Hafsa (ra) chided Safiyyah (ra), calling her daughter of a jew., The Prophet (saw), showed that there was no reason for Safiyyah to be ashamed for she was indeed daughter of a Prophet, niece of a Prophet and wife of a Prophet.

http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/sunnah/bukhari/062.sbt.html#007.062.152
Volume 7, Book 62, Number 152: Narrated Anas: While the Prophet was in the house of one of his wives, one of the mothers of the believers sent a meal in a dish. The wife at whose house the Prophet was, struck the hand of the servant, causing the dish to fall and break. The Prophet gathered the broken pieces of the dish and then started collecting on them the food which had been in the dish and said, “Your mother (my wife) felt jealous.” Then he detained the servant till a (sound) dish was brought from the wife at whose house he was. He gave the sound dish to the wife whose dish had been broken and kept the broken one at the house where it had been broken.

On one occasion, his wife Hafsah chided her co-wife Safiyyah bycalling her “the daughter of a Jew”. This was true, becauseSafiyyah’s father, Hubayy b. Akhtab, was in fact a Jew who had diedwithout ever accepting Islam. Still, such a comment was meant as a take on Safiyyah’s person, which was only more hurtful as it was coming from her co-wife. So when she heard what Hafsah had said, she started to cry.

The Prophet ( r) then came in and asked her why she was crying. She said:

“Hafsah called me the daughter of a Jew.” To this the Prophet ( r) replied: “Verily, you are the daughter of a Prophet, your uncle was also a Prophet, and you are the wife of a Prophet, so what does she have over you to boast about?” He then turned to Hafsah and said: “Fear Allah, O Hafsah.”

In an alternate narration, the Prophet is reported to have turned to Safiyyah and said: “Why didn’t you say: ‘So how can you be better than me? Muhammad is my husband. Aaron is my father, and Moses is my uncle.”

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15 Comments

  1. Posted May 13, 2008 at 4:49 am | Permalink

    Strange!
    no comments??

  2. Abu Sadat Nurullah
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 6:06 am | Permalink

    You mentioned:
    ”Bringing flowers for your loved one, looking beautiful for your mate, having a candle-light dinner with your mate.”

    How does that happen without dating/knowing closely someone before marriage? It’s natural that after marriage the husband and wife can/should have romantic relationship. Does that mean you should not know the (future) spouse well before marriage?

  3. Bintihaq
    Posted May 13, 2008 at 7:00 am | Permalink

    Asalamualikum,

    SubhanAllah, for such n enlightening masterpiece. i truly believe dat if we follow the path of Islam, nothing will go wrong in any way.
    Allah bless us all, Ameen Suma Ameen on the right path of Islam.

    Regards
    Bintihaq.

  4. Asma
    Posted May 19, 2008 at 12:02 am | Permalink

    Salaams,

    Good work asma.Actually i think that our mullah,s have interpreted the quran in a such a way to actually so as make it immensely hard to follow the right path .I believe it is extremely important for all of us to read Quran in order to understand our religion ,how intricately every dimension of life has been addressed.

    I would take a moment here to especially emphasize on the rights of women in Islam and their rights with respect to marriage the highest form of love and affection between a man and a woman.

    It is very important for women to know their rights in the light of Quran with respect to marriage (love and affection)and not just be driven into a life long relationship with any man just because the society has set up some insane rules and framed them as righteous.,the rules which are not even near to what our holy book has laid for us .They have every right and say in their marriages and cannot be be driven into bond without any affection just because their parents think it is right for them.Respecting your parents is one thing but don,t forget to execute your rights which Almighty Allah has given you becuase he knows everything the best.

    When we go through Quran we get to know how strong and inspiring the women of that era were and how involved they were in shaping the lifes of everyone around them.So be strong and be proud of your existence

    May Allah guide us all and show us the right path.

  5. Gunehgaar Mudasir lone,
    Posted May 30, 2008 at 3:19 pm | Permalink

    Bismi Allahi Rehmani Raheem,

    Asalamualiakum,

    Maula ya Salli Wasalim daayiman Abadanm Alla habeebika Khyrin Khalki Kulliheme!

    Allahumma Innie Zalamtu nafsi zulman kaseera Wala Yagfir Zanuba Illa Anta fagfirli Magfiratan min Indika Innaka Anta gafooru Raheem!

    Dears brothers and sisters,

    I am immensely pleased with the way you have presented the Quranic and Hadithic interpretation of Love, Marriage and Romance.

    Very few people infact know what Love , Marraige and Romance mean.? But I would like to make two points over here.
    1. Some people need bookish knowledge to have these kinds of attributes in their life. I mean they need to go through hadiths and Holy books like Quran to chip in to it. This is what you people have done marvellously.

    2. But there are some people who are naturally blessed with all these true attributes of Holy Quran and hadiths are just circulating in them with out even knowing what they are naturally equipped with.

    Therefore if you want to know how the things of Love, Romance and marriage have been depicted and mentioned in Quran and reflected in various authentic Hadiths of NabiRehmat SAW in a perfect way.
    The best way is to find a true person with true heart or see where one’s heart stands in that perspective if you want to check your ownself .

    To me the person who has true heart and has paak intentions has these elements ( Islamic / hadthic things) well settled in his/her blood in a synergistic fashion. That kind of person is just the emulation of True and Muqadas characteristics of Prophet Muhammad SAW.
    one thing is that it is difficult to recognise such people because they hardly usher their prime traits of truthfulness. Mostly They prefer to remain unnoticed.

    Any way ,

    Great work done by you people.

    Get married with a righteous Human with righteous soul and paak Heart.
    there is the gaurantee where you are gona get the absolute and pure love.

    Rest Fee Amani Allah
    Rutt Karinaw maula
    Bahaar Haienaw
    To all of you who truely understand truthfullness in its real context.

  6. REyaz Ahmad Khan
    Posted June 18, 2008 at 3:19 am | Permalink

    Assalamu Alikum
    Dear Brothers And Sisters !
    It is really good to know that we Muslims are studying the Quran and the Sahih Hadith with understanding and belief.i would like to add that we should stop blaming the Mullahs nad the MolvisAs Quran is an open book for all to read and follow.We put Quran in the best cover ( Gilaf) and place it at the highest Shelf.This practice is to changed.Quran has to be in our Lives ,in our breath and all our acts should reflect the word of Allah.

  7. sumaira nazar
    Posted June 20, 2008 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    Aslam-u-Alykum!
    I really appreciate the work that you people have done.It is like an inspiration to all the people who want to be romantic to their husbands/wives and at the same time it teaches us the the different ways of following the other important aspects of the marriage as well.
    Thankyou somuch for puttting forth such information and helping the youth or the newly married couples in understandung eachother and following the religious values to live a good married life.

  8. arsh
    Posted September 16, 2008 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    Aslamm o Alie kum..

    main kuch boluga to log kahtay hain ye lo ji arsh ne bolna shroo kiya 🙂 trust me i am not nose poker but i cant stop myself when i find my nation is walking blindly on wrong path
    kyaa keru adaat se majboor

    1 nimaz ki adaat dalo
    2 try to avoid lies
    3 respect elders
    4be polite always
    5 keep your tune low
    ajj ke liye itna kafi hain
    trust me if we all do it strictly at least lets gv try
    ab mujay mulla na bulana 🙂 mene kaha na main adat se majboor hoon

    ma salama
    Arsh

  9. Momina
    Posted October 12, 2008 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    Assalamualaykum..
    One word.. Beautiful..

  10. Sahada
    Posted May 26, 2009 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

    Assalamo Alaikom….

    Alhamdulillah….beautiful!

  11. Fari
    Posted October 16, 2009 at 4:49 pm | Permalink

    Beautiful, meaningful and very helpful.

    Thanks 🙂

  12. abdulrahman
    Posted November 11, 2009 at 11:12 am | Permalink

    maashalah

  13. MikeD
    Posted January 25, 2010 at 9:33 pm | Permalink

    Now the big question is, how to get both husband and wife to actually love each other initially after their wedding…..especially since they don’t actually “love” or even remotely “know” each other in the first place. Difficulties…difficulties…..

  14. Misbah Nazir
    Posted May 17, 2011 at 12:11 pm | Permalink

    .. Mashallah … really nice

  15. muniba
    Posted November 23, 2011 at 6:01 pm | Permalink

    mashaallah,beautiful………